Dead Man's Shoes

dead mans shoes. A fucking classic. Havent watched it yet, but it looks
good from the pics. He has an army jacket and has an some sort of axe on
the cover. What more do you need.
Barry

Cowboys and Aliens/ A better life

Plane movies agan. Cowboys and aliens and A better life. Both ok. Jamesy bond one was daft. and Ham solo should be used to this sort of thing. Never said why he had a classic gun on his arm either. As you do. Wake up and gun thin on your arm. eh? Chewy would have been a nice touch. ah well. A better life was nice. Liked the gang guys. I just came from there too!! Any wonder i was scared to walk about the place. Did see a few with tats on their face. Nearly joined a gang myself at one point. But i would have kicked the fuck out of that stealling old mexican man. Total bastard. Ragin. Was at the beech too. But not sure if prefer gang or surf bum (ou er).
Hommes

Shutter Island

shudder island is mental. watched on plane and wanted to get off and kill someone. Who the fuck wrote this.didnt even know if i was real by the end. Which incidently wasnt an end. Lucky i am sensible bloke or i my have went mad. Going to stick to childrens films from now on. The devils rejects is next.
cheers, Brian

Death Race

death race. not bad. similar to going somewhere in friends white van.

Paranoid Activity 3

paranoid activity 3 is braven crap. The little girl should have just
told the ghot to fak aff. Worked for me before. I watched this because
friend of mine described it 'jumpy as fuck!'. What! What! fucking
Waht!!! Going to seriously review my list of friend now. I never know
when fellow reviewers are taking the piss anymore. Why cant they all be…like me.

The Invention of Lying

/*The Invention of Lying*/ is a 2009 fantasy romantic comedy film that
is written and directed by Ricky Gervais and Matthew Robinson that Barry
also watched while having more internet problems. Not bad again. Some
reasonable ideas here. But importantly. My (barry) internet is total
faking ballicks. Tomorrow i (he) will go to internet anger managemnt…

Percy and the lighting theif is ok (ish). Had to watch cause the crap
fakin internet in my room went off again. Well sort of watched. Medussa
wasnt bad. But, cause internet off, went to bar instead before i seen
the end of film. No idea what happened. But it wasnt bad for a non
internet type day of film watching. Fakin raging about this internet…

Street Fighter

Fuck me!

Knowing

Knowing actually started off ok. Me thinking it was a ghost thing with nicols. Usual. Turned to shit. Faking space ship!! and the end of the world!! eh!! eh!!. Nicols - ring me now? (ou er).

(Barry does need help, this is his second review for knowing and he hasn't realised)

Maid in Manhatton

I watched 'maid in manhatton'. Sersiorously. I didnt plan to. But did. I am sorry. I am a wreck. A love story. My shrink says i am fucking idiot. I dont know what to do..... Help.

Blood Diamond

Took alot of effort to watch blood diamond as that wee chidly buddy from titanic was in. I am sure you understand my concern. Was actually good. Liked. Last film i seen about diamond smuggling had del boy and denzel in it. It was good too. Maybe only watch films with diamonds from now on.

Bad Lieutenant (Again!)

Watched what i thought was new (as disc was in foreign language) nicols cage film. After 20mins was very suspicious. It was bad lieutenant. Feel wick. But watched it all again anyway. Not very often a a remake is better than the original. Top quality.

Rock n Rolla

Rock n rolla made me cry. my god. 3 years later i find out this exists!!!. I am an idiiot. well not really. But good.

?

watched some film on plane i dont know what it was called. Some nice ugly bloke with a glowing tree on his arm who maybe didnt used to be an ugly bloke or nice or have a glowing tree on his arm. Some sort of love story maybe. It was pretty crap anyway. No idea what happened in the end. Too much red wine and i turned it off to watch bravo 2 zero. Which i fell asleep watching - i think.
All in all this reviewing business is getting pretty bloody tricky.

Red

Red. total crap. Moonlighting was better. Also disappointed in that morgan guy who looks like black version of a friend of mine. Let me read your scripts before agreeing to appear in this sort of thing. But. Shit. Thanks Bruce. you wasted 2 hours of my life.

Machete

What the fuck. Watched this after centurian. Its for kids in comparison. Totally ridiculous mindless violence. And stars (and some chids) in the cast as well. Proud of you robert. Even though i had to look up internet to see if was actually you. Conclusion: obviously written by a complete madman. I liked it. Keep it up (ou er) whoever you are.

Centurian

Centurian has serious blood and stuff. Watchable if your trying to fix your phone like i was. But not bad. Not a classic either. Dont take my word for it. Break your phone and watch it.

Windtalkers

Fully expected to be writing Shittalkers. But its fucken good.
Nichols - dont worry about giving me a call.

Season Of The Witch

Season of the witch started pretty well. Being a keen occult follower myself i'm into this sort of thing. I liked that song they did about the rain. And a friend was in their videos. Mayhem eh!. But the film was ok until some shit bird thing appeared at the end. Not going to spoil this. but turn it off after about an hour it you'll think its a bit ok. Watch it all and you'll be angry. Then. i go to bed. Get up in the morning and i dream of jeannie is on the tv. Maybe should stop listening to that oocult album. Also need to talk to Nichols cage buddy about these crap things hes in. Nichols - if your reading this. Give me a shout. Cheers. Big B.

JOHAH HEX

Fer fucks sake how did i buy this.My chinese advisor is getting a visit. Every time. 'Good. Good. Very good. English'. Every fucking time. Same bloke who conned me into buying ninja assassin. And he has seen them!!. And then sells me them!!. Hang on........

SNIPER

Now were talking. Really gripping supurbly excuted film that had me rivetted the whole way through. Hadnt seen a good sniper film since that marky mark thing. Fucking brilliant. Not really. A bit shit too. Just watched because couldnt be arsed to get up and change it.

MONSTERS

Not bad (ish). Well until i seen the monsters at the end. I say not bad. I mean 'shit'. Now i'm remembering other bits. Shit the whole way through.

Apocalypto

Watched a little bit of that Apocalypto. Seriously. What the fuck!
Baryy

Takers

Takers - a little far fetched but brave n good. But crime does pay. See the faking stuff they have. Maybe buy gun now and get started. Nothing can go wrong. woho

The Fighter

Watcher (Barry's first launguage IS english.) that the fighter Not the best Very very predictable. A true story of course.Very like that other boxing fiim years ago. Rambo.

Devil

Devil. more plane films. this is a record norris. And continuing in the supernatural theme to this flight. But just about watchable. Bit like a tv movie. Means its a bit shit. But i know now that the devil has the same eyes a ralph after 2 bottles of whiskey. They better put a faster plane on next time so i dont have to watch so much crap. Simpsons now. woho.

Paranormal Activity 2

Still on plane. watched that paranoidal (eh?) activity 2. Crap. Fucks sake.

True Grit

On plane. watched true grit. quite good but plane is crap. They dont have cider. Seriously how can any sane man watch a film without cider. Have immediately lodged massive complaint with FAA. The pilots are allowed drink so why am i not. Not fair. Obviously appreciating that they do have free champaign, wine, brandy, beer and other stuff. But where is the cider. there are films to watch.

WHERE THE FUCK IS BARRY?!

BACK, THAT'S WHERE!