Barry Nesbitts Movie Reviews

Warrior

2012-02-01T07:46:00.000-08:00

warrior is pretty dam good. although i put on on plane. 2 hr flight and
the bastards never told me it was 2.5 hrs long. Tried to sit on until it
was over until airport security got me. Gaggin for a week until i flew
back.

Conan The Barbarian

2012-01-26T07:56:00.000-08:00

In cambodia.

Conan tha barbarian is ok. Arnie looks at little strange and is a pretty crap actor. The rest of cast is pretty good. watched 1st half of film on a flight. Took 3 weeks to watch the second half on my next flight. Perhaps a measure of how good this is. OMG this is almost sensible review.

Dead Man's Shoes

2012-01-01T14:45:00.000-08:00

watced dead mans shoes. i was rite. classic. Not exactly a hollywood
blockbuster. Crap there anyway. but it made me stay up too late because
i wanted to see the end. Alough i have to admit that my PA (and friend)
(sort of) did advise me of this. Not staying up. but that is was good.
And the 2cv was a master stroke (ou er).
Happy new year. B

Dead Man's Shoes

2011-12-31T17:28:00.000-08:00

dead mans shoes. A fucking classic. Havent watched it yet, but it looks
good from the pics. He has an army jacket and has an some sort of axe on
the cover. What more do you need.
Barry

Cowboys and Aliens/ A better life

2011-12-18T10:45:00.000-08:00

Plane movies agan. Cowboys and aliens and A better life. Both ok. Jamesy bond one was daft. and Ham solo should be used to this sort of thing. Never said why he had a classic gun on his arm either. As you do. Wake up and gun thin on your arm. eh? Chewy would have been a nice touch. ah well. A better life was nice. Liked the gang guys. I just came from there too!! Any wonder i was scared to walk about the place. Did see a few with tats on their face. Nearly joined a gang myself at one point. But i would have kicked the fuck out of that stealling old mexican man. Total bastard. Ragin. Was at the beech too. But not sure if prefer gang or surf bum (ou er).
Hommes

Shutter Island

2011-12-18T10:43:00.000-08:00

shudder island is mental. watched on plane and wanted to get off and kill someone. Who the fuck wrote this.didnt even know if i was real by the end. Which incidently wasnt an end. Lucky i am sensible bloke or i my have went mad. Going to stick to childrens films from now on. The devils rejects is next.
cheers, Brian

Death Race

2011-12-06T09:17:00.000-08:00

death race. not bad. similar to going somewhere in friends white van.

Paranoid Activity 3

2011-12-06T09:13:00.000-08:00

paranoid activity 3 is braven crap. The little girl should have just
told the ghot to fak aff. Worked for me before. I watched this because
friend of mine described it 'jumpy as fuck!'. What! What! fucking
Waht!!! Going to seriously review my list of friend now. I never know
when fellow reviewers are taking the piss anymore. Why cant they all be…like me.

The Invention of Lying

2011-12-06T09:09:00.000-08:00

/*The Invention of Lying*/ is a 2009 fantasy romantic comedy film that
is written and directed by Ricky Gervais and Matthew Robinson that Barry
also watched while having more internet problems. Not bad again. Some
reasonable ideas here. But importantly. My (barry) internet is total
faking ballicks. Tomorrow i (he) will go to internet anger managemnt…

2011-12-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

Percy and the lighting theif is ok (ish). Had to watch cause the crap
fakin internet in my room went off again. Well sort of watched. Medussa
wasnt bad. But, cause internet off, went to bar instead before i seen
the end of film. No idea what happened. But it wasnt bad for a non
internet type day of film watching. Fakin raging about this internet…

Street Fighter

2011-10-01T12:27:00.000-07:00

Fuck me!

Knowing

2011-08-14T10:17:00.000-07:00

Knowing actually started off ok. Me thinking it was a ghost thing with nicols. Usual. Turned to shit. Faking space ship!! and the end of the world!! eh!! eh!!. Nicols - ring me now? (ou er).

(Barry does need help, this is his second review for knowing and he hasn't realised)

Maid in Manhatton

2011-08-14T10:15:00.000-07:00

I watched 'maid in manhatton'. Sersiorously. I didnt plan to. But did. I am sorry. I am a wreck. A love story. My shrink says i am fucking idiot. I dont know what to do..... Help.

Blood Diamond

2011-08-14T10:13:00.000-07:00

Took alot of effort to watch blood diamond as that wee chidly buddy from titanic was in. I am sure you understand my concern. Was actually good. Liked. Last film i seen about diamond smuggling had del boy and denzel in it. It was good too. Maybe only watch films with diamonds from now on.

Bad Lieutenant (Again!)

2011-07-17T13:26:00.000-07:00

Watched what i thought was new (as disc was in foreign language) nicols cage film. After 20mins was very suspicious. It was bad lieutenant. Feel wick. But watched it all again anyway. Not very often a a remake is better than the original. Top quality.

Rock n Rolla

2011-07-17T13:24:00.001-07:00

Rock n rolla made me cry. my god. 3 years later i find out this exists!!!. I am an idiiot. well not really. But good.

?

2011-07-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

watched some film on plane i dont know what it was called. Some nice ugly bloke with a glowing tree on his arm who maybe didnt used to be an ugly bloke or nice or have a glowing tree on his arm. Some sort of love story maybe. It was pretty crap anyway. No idea what happened in the end. Too much red wine and i turned it off to watch bravo 2 zero. Which i fell asleep watching - i think.
All in all this reviewing business is getting pretty bloody tricky.

Red

2011-06-13T12:44:00.001-07:00

Red. total crap. Moonlighting was better. Also disappointed in that morgan guy who looks like black version of a friend of mine. Let me read your scripts before agreeing to appear in this sort of thing. But. Shit. Thanks Bruce. you wasted 2 hours of my life.

Machete

2011-05-30T06:40:00.001-07:00

What the fuck. Watched this after centurian. Its for kids in comparison. Totally ridiculous mindless violence. And stars (and some chids) in the cast as well. Proud of you robert. Even though i had to look up internet to see if was actually you. Conclusion: obviously written by a complete madman. I liked it. Keep it up (ou er) whoever you are.

Centurian

2011-05-30T06:38:00.000-07:00

Centurian has serious blood and stuff. Watchable if your trying to fix your phone like i was. But not bad. Not a classic either. Dont take my word for it. Break your phone and watch it.

Windtalkers

2011-05-29T12:38:00.001-07:00

Fully expected to be writing Shittalkers. But its fucken good.
Nichols - dont worry about giving me a call.

Season Of The Witch

2011-05-29T12:32:00.000-07:00

Season of the witch started pretty well. Being a keen occult follower myself i'm into this sort of thing. I liked that song they did about the rain. And a friend was in their videos. Mayhem eh!. But the film was ok until some shit bird thing appeared at the end. Not going to spoil this. but turn it off after about an hour it you'll think its a bit ok. Watch it all and you'll be angry. Then. i go to bed. Get up in the morning and i dream of jeannie is on the tv. Maybe should stop listening to that oocult album. Also need to talk to Nichols cage buddy about these crap things hes in. Nichols - if your reading this. Give me a shout. Cheers. Big B.

JOHAH HEX

2011-05-25T13:40:00.001-07:00

Fer fucks sake how did i buy this.My chinese advisor is getting a visit. Every time. 'Good. Good. Very good. English'. Every fucking time. Same bloke who conned me into buying ninja assassin. And he has seen them!!. And then sells me them!!. Hang on........

SNIPER

2011-05-25T13:39:00.001-07:00

Now were talking. Really gripping supurbly excuted film that had me rivetted the whole way through. Hadnt seen a good sniper film since that marky mark thing. Fucking brilliant. Not really. A bit shit too. Just watched because couldnt be arsed to get up and change it.

MONSTERS

2011-05-25T13:37:00.001-07:00

Not bad (ish). Well until i seen the monsters at the end. I say not bad. I mean 'shit'. Now i'm remembering other bits. Shit the whole way through.

Apocalypto

2011-05-01T08:35:00.001-07:00

Watched a little bit of that Apocalypto. Seriously. What the fuck!
Baryy

Takers

2011-04-09T09:32:00.001-07:00

Takers - a little far fetched but brave n good. But crime does pay. See the faking stuff they have. Maybe buy gun now and get started. Nothing can go wrong. woho

The Fighter

2011-03-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

Watcher (Barry's first launguage IS english.) that the fighter Not the best Very very predictable. A true story of course.Very like that other boxing fiim years ago. Rambo.

Devil

2011-03-13T10:21:00.000-07:00

Devil. more plane films. this is a record norris. And continuing in the supernatural theme to this flight. But just about watchable. Bit like a tv movie. Means its a bit shit. But i know now that the devil has the same eyes a ralph after 2 bottles of whiskey. They better put a faster plane on next time so i dont have to watch so much crap. Simpsons now. woho.

Paranormal Activity 2

2011-03-13T10:16:00.000-07:00

Still on plane. watched that paranoidal (eh?) activity 2. Crap. Fucks sake.

True Grit

2011-03-13T10:11:00.000-07:00

On plane. watched true grit. quite good but plane is crap. They dont have cider. Seriously how can any sane man watch a film without cider. Have immediately lodged massive complaint with FAA. The pilots are allowed drink so why am i not. Not fair. Obviously appreciating that they do have free champaign, wine, brandy, beer and other stuff. But where is the cider. there are films to watch.

WHERE THE FUCK IS BARRY?!

2011-03-09T13:53:00.000-08:00

BACK, THAT'S WHERE!

2012

2010-07-11T09:56:00.001-07:00

2012 is not good. Yet another pile of hyped crap. I am now starting to think its me who has the problem. And not the films. But it really is shite. Turned off before it ended. As usual.

Clash of the Titans

2010-07-11T09:51:00.000-07:00

Watched that Clash of the titans on the plane. I cant beleive i thought it would be good. More hyped crap. It is me isnt it. I preferred the original (which later turned out to be Jason and the Argonauts - well it was close). Shit. It is me. Perhaps if i was 10 years old i would have a different opinion. Im not. So. Shite.

Smokin Aces 2

2010-07-11T09:49:00.000-07:00

Smokin aces 2 is pretty good. Mental of course, but good. Seems to be a pattern appearing. Vinnie is pretty good as well as the big fat guy with the quiff. He reminded me of you in looks at least. But, high levels of violence and a realistic sensible story and some cider now that i can get it is always goin to make for good watching.

Armoured

2010-07-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

Armoured. Pretty damn good. At last.
Barry

The Jurer

2010-06-09T13:26:00.000-07:00

Watched The Jurer. Thing with that doll out of ghost and that alec buddy. Not actually bad. Violence toned done way too much and i dont actually like that doll from ghost. Seen her on the big breakfast once and thought she was a chid. Other than that. Not bad.
choi.
B

Gran Torino

2010-06-09T13:23:00.000-07:00

Watched Gran Torino. Pretty dam good i have to say, Although i had to stay up on a school night to watch it which i'm not happy about as i will be tired tomorrow. So. In summary. pretty good, but over shadowed by it being on late. Think it started at 9pm.

Boa Vs Python

2010-05-20T13:36:00.000-07:00

Boa Vs Python. Won't be too critical, But this is possibly the worst film made since the beginning of time. I jest you not. Roll on Death Wish 4. Its on next. Fuckin' brilliant.

Ninja Assassin

2010-05-06T12:56:00.000-07:00

Ninja assassin was recommended (several times) by my foreign advisor. I thought i had issues with my other advisor (?), but clucking bell!, this one has got major problems or he is taking the piss?.

Summary,

Plot: None.
Actors: None.
Overall: Total pish.

The Cove

2010-05-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

I am now actually being totally serious. Had to turn it off at one point because it upset me so much. Watched the rest of it though as that was the intent of making this. Truly disturbing. Fucking Bastards.The more people see this the better. Bastards.

Green Zone

2010-05-03T11:00:00.000-07:00

.RAGING. Possibly the most i have ever been confused about a film ever. Sat and watched the whole thing. No Drink. Not doing anything else and at the end of the film i had no idea at all who or what the hell was going on. Then it ended!! Ridiculous.

Must also mention that i had fell alseep for at least 45 minutes and woke up about 1 minute before the end.
Goodbye.

Brooklyn's Finest

2010-05-03T10:54:00.000-07:00

Brooklyn's Finest is actually braven good and nobody even hardly gets shot in it. A little confusing though as i watched it whilst on computer. No cider though (just as well). I have a good idea for film makers too. They should give you 'watch options' at the start so they arent confusing. Such as 'Normal Mode', 'Drinking Mode', 'Doing Other Stuff Mode' etc.etc. Pretty simple really.
Bm

Law Abiding Citizen

2010-04-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

Law Abiding Citizen started off with incredable promise. Recommmended by another renound and recognised veteran criticc. But, i fear, a lover of too much cider. The good start did become far fetched and ballicksy to say the least . Which i can only put down to him not noticing because of cider. Or perhaps my opinion of this fellow critic is misguided. Summary. A bit ballicksy (the film and recommendation).
BN

No Country For Old Men

2010-03-29T13:02:00.000-07:00

Going crazy watching films. Now i watched no country for old men. Only watched it because i had seen it before. Knew there was high levels of violence and i couldn't remember the end. Thought it was cider related. But no. There was no fucking end. Bastards.

Crank 2

2010-03-29T12:58:00.000-07:00

Crank 2. Totally fakin mental, and some good ideas. Particularly the porn star strike. Genius.

rest wasnt bad either.

Shutter Island

2010-03-27T10:56:00.000-07:00

Watched 1/2 hr of that shudder thing. Turned off and watched Pacific. These reviews are getting worse.

CA$H

2010-03-27T10:52:00.000-07:00

Watched cash. Now appreciating that i am prone to over exaggerating how good some movies are, i must say that this is a total fucking classic.Well, not really. Its not bad. No blue cunts at least.

Also, comming soon: - just started watching that shutter island. Detailed review to follow.

The Lodger

2010-03-21T15:08:00.000-07:00

Watched some jack the ripper bualicks(?) a couple of weeks ago. Jesus christ. Took me this long to ponder my thoughts. For about an hour i thought it was some shit seventies low budget crap. but no. They started using mobiles and computers. wtf. But i watched it anyway to see what happened. So it must have been at bit ok. So summary. A bit ok (possibly).

Avatar

2010-01-23T14:06:00.000-08:00

At chinese cinema. Avatar 3D. The glasses definately made me look cool (pic to follow). Fancied one of those robot things. Changed my mind though, big red flying dragon thing much better. Film was actually brave n good too. And no annoying chids laughing at shit. Only going to chinese cinemas from now on. Only criticism of avatar was the hangover still lurking from last night. Not really films fault.

Bad Lieutenant

2010-01-23T14:01:00.000-08:00

WORST REMAKE I HAVE EVER SEEN. 1ST ONE WAS A CLASSIC. THIS ONE ISNT. TOTALLY SHIT LIEUTENANT!!.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

2010-01-05T12:54:00.000-08:00

More like Crouching Tiger, total ballicks.

Walk The Line

2009-12-20T09:12:00.000-08:00

Watched that Jonny Cash thing finally. Thought would be crap. Wasn't. Enjoyed it and thought he was just right going with the other doll as she was much better looking than his wife.

Hotel Rwanda

2009-12-13T10:21:00.000-08:00

Hole Rwanda. Scary. Disturbed me. You disturb me. Watchmen disturbed me. In a different way though. Good film.
Baz

There Will Be Blood

2009-12-13T10:18:00.000-08:00

Discribed by you as There will be 'a long wait for' blood. Fucking right. Spent about 6 hrs watching this before turning off to go to bed. The next night: Got organised, got cider, got comfy to watch the rest of this story. Approximately one second after i turned it back on, the oil boy killed the other bloke and it was over. Sometimes i do struggle with my anger at these films.

Transformers 2 Revenge Of The Fallen

2009-12-06T09:02:00.000-08:00

Transformers 2. A bit pishy. No where near as good as the 1st one. Too much joking between robots and too far fetched and childish. No smashing pumpkins and i hurt my fucking leg even more watching it and can't walk now. Not happy with life at the minute and its alot to do with this film. Dont get me wrong though, Classic compared to watchmen.

Editors note, there are no diddies in this movie

Saw

2009-12-04T12:32:00.000-08:00

Saw. cant believe i had not seen before. Need to watch again though as end is a hazy and confusing. Possibly cider related.

Paranormal Activity

2009-12-04T12:29:00.000-08:00

Watched that pananormal thing. Same thing happens to me every weekend. Happend again this morning. Lying sleeping having had a glass or two of cider the night before, when all of a sudden there was this fucking horrendus sound of small feet (with my shoes on) stamping up and down in front of me and a little girls voice shouting boo boo continuosly in my face. Sometimes it seems to be jumping on the bed too. Havent been spoiler yet though. Weird.
Baary

Harry Brown

2009-12-04T12:19:00.000-08:00

But I haven't seen it yet, it sounds like something you put in the pan.

review to come when movie has been watched.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1289406/

Inglourious Basterds

2009-11-22T13:41:00.000-08:00

Feel i have to write something about Inglorious Basterds.......

Started with promise.
regards,
Barry

Miracle At St Anna

2009-11-15T07:20:00.000-08:00

CRAP
CRAP
CRAP

CHIDS

Watchmen

2009-11-12T10:41:00.000-08:00

Watched Watchmen. A fucking classic. Superb acting and storeyline, backed up by an oscar winning perforance from the blue guy.
Then throw in a bit Mars. What a twist!! Brilliant.
I love you watchmen.
Barry

http://twitter.com/KahliW/status/1778652487
me too.

Sasquatch Gang

2009-11-07T13:16:00.000-08:00

Watched that sasquatch gang last night. High quality and a bloke who reminded me of you (guy who didnt wear a top and always carried a drink - seemed a bit familar too).

Mean Creek

2009-11-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

Watched a thing about some fat chid getting thrown in a river. Wasnt bad. The little boy who got beat up reminded me of you

Surveillance

2009-11-07T13:09:00.000-08:00

In summary: A bit fuckin far fetched but well watchable with plenty of cider. The best effort so far since we started watching your recommendations, which up to this were bollox. The little girl in it reminded me of you.

knowing

2009-11-07T10:36:00.000-08:00

WATCHED THE KNOWING. OK. THEN TURNED INTO WATCHERS? JUST WAITING FOR THAT BLUE CUNT TO APPEAR.

BALLACKS BALLACKS BALLACKS.

i'm going to stop watching films soon.

District 9

2009-11-07T09:47:00.001-08:00

Fucking mental. but not bad.

Outpost

2009-11-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

Watched that outpost last night. Started promising. Ended being total crap.

Public Enemies

2009-11-07T09:39:00.000-08:00

Depp is a wierdo and it wasn't reallly worth the wait. Far fetched too. Maybe the introduction of a blue chid and say a scene on mars would have fitted in nicely. And not one chinese buddy (or bud if you like)....

Slightly disgruntled.

The Woods

2009-11-07T09:24:00.000-08:00

What a classic.Total waste of fuckin time. quite annoyed at just how shite it was.
cheers.

Alexander

2009-11-07T09:16:00.000-08:00

Alexander is total crap. didnt even watch the end it was so bad. Ancient greek with a bloody belfast accent.

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

2009-11-07T09:11:00.000-08:00

Taking of pelham.
didnt watch it.
no. did.
Not bad (ishy - no not bad)

Angel of Death

2009-11-07T09:06:00.000-08:00

ANGEL OF DEATH.

IS BALLS.

Hancock

2009-11-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

Put Hancock on. Turned off in less than 5 minutes. Total balllicks. Ballicks.

Why why why.

Ballicks.

Watched Yeti instead. classic.

The Wrestler

2009-11-07T08:50:00.000-08:00

Watched the wrestler. Mickey in general is a complete twat, but the film is good.